4 years and it’s still really hard. day-to-day is easier, but occasionally it hits me like a ton of bricks. the wind gets knocked out of me, my heart is fluttery, and i feel like i can’t breathe.
my cat slept with you all weekend. that was strange—if i was there, she always slept with me. you said she reminded you of your cat growing up. i blew off my senior thesis to spend time with you. now that behavior wouldn’t surprise me, but at that phase in life it wasn’t typical by any means. i actually offended other people by blowing them off to spend time with you as well. i am so thankful that i made those decisions.
i watched you pull away, out of my driveway and i cried. i found it really strange at the time. i had said goodbye many times before, pretty much at every college break. why was i crying this time?
a week and a half later i got my answer—i cried because it was my final goodbye. somehow my heart knew i would never see you again.
i miss you.
